We live a healthy life as long as we grow well. When growth slows down, we become old and when this growth stops totally, we die. In life, especially in married life, one has to share. The real purpose of marriage is not enjoyment or procreation, but to grow and share.
Dr Rajiv Anand, Mumbai-based psychiatrist and marriage counsellor, says, “Every human being has to grow. And growth is possible only when one gets love and care. This happens when there is a steady flow of healthy emotions and certainty of its continuance, no threat of any kind whatsoever. This can happen only in marriage. Moreover, the medium of a healthy relationship is love, which is the best catalyst to help one grow.”
Ramkishen, 75, was a widower and well-placed in society. Yet he felt lonely and looked for companionship. Despite opposition from his children, he tied the knot with a 65-year-old widow. Ever since the entry of that lady in Ramkishen’s life, his health has improved commendably. His medicine bills have gone down, and now he looks chirpy.
Unnati lost her husband three years ago and was forced to live alone in Mumbai as her only son lives abroad. She had a host of problems, physical as well as mental -– depression, anxiety and fear psychosis. Lately, she got into a relationship and with counselling she could achieve great success. Today, she is settled in life with glow on her face and minimum visits to doctor.
“One can enjoy best health when one grows optimally, be it man or woman, and that is where a healthy marriage becomes an important factor for one’s health. The most powerful impact it can have is to help you grow and stretch exponentially as a human being,” adds Dr Anand.
Scientists have come to the conclusion that married people, on average, appear to be healthier and live longer than unmarried people. Studies have also shown that they are less likely to get diseases like pneumonia, develop cancer or heart attacks. In Sweden, researchers have found that married people have lower risk of dementia. In the Netherlands, it has been found that in virtually every category -- from violent deaths and road accidents to cancer -- the unmarried were at far higher risk than the married.
Relationships add to the quality of our lives. They increase our horizons and perspectives, augment our resources and open opportunities to overcome challenges. The energy created from an authentic marital relationship carries us through the growth process so that we can emerge as stronger, healthier, better and wiser people.
However, Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist, Dr L H Hiranandani Hospital, Mumbai, feels, “Marriage is traditionally believed to cause good health but not always. What helps is the bonding and may not come necessarily from marriage. Marriages that are difficult may actually destroy health. In a fast paced world, couples are not as relaxed as they were during the agrarian era. Being single may not mean being lonely but just alone. Many couples are married and yet lonely. Nourishment for the mind, body and soul may not necessarily come from marriage and can come from elsewhere.”
Benefits of marriage
* Married people have a lower rate of substance abuse and alcohol consumption than unmarried individuals. They have a much lower rate of suicides.
* Feeling of emotional bonding with spouse strengthens immunity and thus prevents many diseases.
* Feeling of being wanted and loved enriches one’s body with energy, empowers and strengthens it to cope with many health issues.
* Feeling of becoming a part of someone’s life adds meaning and energy to one’s life and thus makes it worth living.
* It is sharing one’s different emotions -- from sorrow to ecstasy -- which is the primary need of every human being. If it gets fulfilled in marriage, then it works more than medicines. If it doesn’t, even medicines won’t work.
* People who are loved and supported had substantially less blockage in the arteries of their hearts.
